Saturday, October 06, 2012

Breathing Ch. 04

The air vibrated around Sonya as she listened to his words.  It was as if he had taken what oxygen she had left and was holding it ransom.  Flashes of light danced before her eyes seconds before she opened her mouth.  A thinly weaved tapestry of pictures flickered in her head as she felt herself shouting her response to his new found revelation. 

Echoes bounced through the caverns of her brain as she watched him with bated breath.  And for a split second Sonya could almost hear her soul shatter all over again.  Wasn’t it her time to have a little peace too?  Every second for the past year had been a battle simply trying to stay afloat.  All she wanted now was to slowly sink; knowing that at the bottom wouldn’t be the end, but a new beginning for her and Sean.

Sonya’s chocolate eyes looked at the man before her, trying her best to determine what to do next.  Did he really expect her to idly sit by and allow this to happen?  To keep her here under lock and key as if she were some kind of prisoner and he was her warden.  The agreement made between the two of them said nothing of staying in his room with him.  Only that he would have to keep a close eye on her.

Nothing more was said about what that entailed.  Sonya had been under the illusion that keeping a close eye on her simply meant keeping her away from sharp objects.  What he had planned for her was above and beyond surveillance. 

The walls of her head pulsed to a silent beat, thumping against the dense bone there.  Where in the world was that ringing coming from?  Her eyes never moved from Trenton’s face as she realized once again that the cause was the man standing in front of her.  This realization only intensified the high pitched screech wreaking havoc inside her skull.

Inhaling a ragged breath, Sonya closed her eyes and began counting to five, opening them only to be greeted by cerulean orbs of light.  The slight amusement etched on his face did nothing to calm her down, which she could tell Trenton was patiently waiting for her to do.  But even he should know that would take a while.  At least he had better think that, she mused.  Because there was no way in hell she would be calm anytime soon.

Sonya inhaled a shaky breath, slowly blowing it out.  Her outburst had extracted more energy from her than she had thought.  And all it took was two words.  Two words had been the catalyst setting this confrontation into motion.

Where will you sleep?  Guest bedroom?

Thinking of his words only fueled her anger towards him, and now what she really wanted to do was slap that look off his face and tell him where he could go.  Straight to hell!

Instead, Sonya closed her eyes and took another deep breath, slowly releasing it.  She really needed to calm down, but she couldn’t seem to shake this feeling that kept trying to claw its way to the surface.  It was a cloud of haze wrapped around something she couldn’t afford to believe in.


As far as she was concerned there was no hope for her.  Not even at the bottom of Pandora’s Box.  No.  That hope was meant for someone else.  Someone who truly deserved it, who truly wanted it; and that someone was not her. 

A frustrated grunt left her mouth as she once again opened her eyes to see a small smirk cross Trenton’s face.  He knew something like this was going to happen.  He probably planned it out while she was bound to the hospital bed, threatening to stay.

Calm down. 

Right.  She needed to calm down she repeated as her eyes once again closed.  He’d never leave her alone if she continued to be this combative.  Her best strategy would be to gain his trust as fast as she could.  Even if it was just a little. 

A stab of pain shot to her heart as if telling her to keep away.  That she was making a grave mistake to even open up under false pretenses.  But desperate times called for desperate measures.

As her eyes opened again she saw that he was now watching her with an unrecognizable expression.  It was filled with such emotion that it caused her to take a step back.  Gone was the smirk she had seen just moments ago.  Now all that was left was this energy and electricity crackling silently between the two of them.  Like a magnetic storm shooting bolts of lightning through the air and directly into her body.

The throbbing in her wrist hummed in tune with the lightning, further reminding her why she was standing in a stranger’s bedroom trying her best to keep her cool.  She had known him for less than a day and yet here she was watching him stare into her soul.  And her mom had given him the opportunity to do so.

Out of the corner of her eye she watched as his jaw clenched and relaxed.  Instinctively her eyes followed the movement, watching for any sign that he might say something to her.  But nothing else happened.


The words were said a little firmer and with more contempt than Sonya had meant, but there was no denying that she hated this situation.  More than that, she was beginning to despise her mother for placing her in it.

“It was never up for discussion, but thank you for not fighting me on it,” he calmly replied in even tones, making her relax just a little.  Clearing his throat he turned, “The bathroom is through that door.  I took anything that could be used as a weapon out—just in case.”

“Of course,” she frowned.

With a nod of the head, he continued talking, “The shower is glass so there’s no fear that you’ll suffocate yourself.  Also it’s very thick so trying to throw yourself through it will only give you a headache if anything.”

His eyes moved to Sonya again waiting for an outburst.  When none came he continued talking.  “The hooks have been removed, as well as the towel racks.  And while you were waiting to be released I also had someone remove the mirror.”

Sonya’s eyes scanned the large room.  Its deep brown color mixed with lighter earth tones gave a tranquil vibe.  And just as he had said, everything had been removed.  Even the vanity was bare except for soap and a small hand towel. 

“It only has a shower, which eliminates the risk of drowning.  I’m not really a bath person anyway so my room is perfect for you to stay in.”

“I see,” Sonya whispered, more to herself than to him.

“I figured this was the only way I’d feel comfortable letting you in here alone.”

“I wasn’t—“

Trenton’s hand rose as he gave her a sad smile.  “Yes you were.”

The pain behind his eyes hit her harder than they should.  Someone who had only known her a day and yet here she was being guarded in his palace.  And more than anything she wanted to reassure him that she was telling the truth.  She wasn’t going to try ending her life again.  But then those pesky memories began to resurface and she remembered why she couldn’t make that promise.

“What now?”

“Now you shower.  There are clothes in the closet.  Your friend Cameron was nice enough to bring you a change of clothes while we all waited for you to wake up.”  Sonya’s eyes moved to his as she heard his voice drop at the words ‘wake up’, but he quickly turned his back to her again.  “I’ll be waiting out here for you.”

Sonya’s eyebrows lifted as she watched him turn back to here with a genuine smile on his face.  “Don’t worry; I’m not going to stand outside the door.  I have work to do.  Go on.”

Hesitating for a second, Sonya slowly walked towards the bathroom stopping just inside the doorway.  Her head turned to see that Trenton had already made his way to his desk.  She could always make a run for it, she thought.  But where would she go before he caught her and took her back to the hospital.  They’d commit her for sure.

Instead she inhaled a deep breath of fresh air and placed her hand on the door quietly shutting it, effectively shielding her body from the man on the other side.


Trenton’s body relaxed with the soft click of the bathroom door.  He wanted more than anything to ask her what had driven her to do something so horrible.  Did she not realize that there were so many people in her life that would miss her had she succeeded?  And to die the way she had planned had to have taken some time to arrange.  Obviously she had been thinking of this for a while.  This thought alone drove Trenton to frown again.

His eyes flicked towards the closed door again when he heard the faint sound of water being turned on.  From where he sat it sounded like a waterfall cascading over rounded rocks.  Tranquil and serene and yet he couldn’t seem to calm down imagining her in there all alone.  What if he had missed something and she ended up hurting herself again?

Thinking back to that morning before he picked her up, Trenton couldn’t find anything he’d missed.  He had made sure that all was well and secured before he had left.  He had even gone so far as to lock up all of his silverware.  And yet the thought that she could improvise and find something within the confines of his bathroom set him on alert, listening for anything that would seem out of the ordinary.

When he heard nothing that would indicate she was in any danger, he turned back towards his computer, pulling up his email account.  He had been out of the loop for an entire day, which was unheard of for him.  The Great Trenton Sinclair was nothing if not a workaholic. 

As the page loaded he heard music begin to play.  Was that a theme song from the movie Star Wars?

His eyebrows furrowed as he remembered whose ringtone it belonged to.  Standing to walk towards his discarded jacket, his fingers blindly searched for the offending object.  Freeing it from its confines only caused the sound to become louder.  Just who he thought it was. 

Pressing ignore, he turned to walk back to his desk.  Once again the music filled his bedroom with ominous instrumentals.  This song was perfect for the caller, because if there was ever a word to describe them, it was definitely not anything positive.

His friend David had laughed at him the first time he had heard it.  That alone caused Trenton to smile.  He’d never forget that day.


The sun had hidden behind tiny droplets of ice crystals as ribbons of sunlight filtered through them.  He had just watched a documentary on the effects of the weather and global warming on Earth.  That detail was courtesy of the information he had learned on clouds.  As he sat at his table, half listening to his friend talk about his latest conquest; he had relayed that tidbit of information to him.

“Dude, that’s awfully nerdy of you to say.”

This only caused Trenton to smile.  His friend was forever calling him a nerd, but this nerd was one of the top ten eligible bachelors in the tri-state area.

“Yeah, well, nerdy is the new black or something like that,” he laughed.

“Whatever,” David laughed.

David’s black hair was kept short but there were tell-tale signs of curls throughout it.  For the ladies he would always say.  His olive complexion always gave him a tanned look year round and his brown eyes were always focusing on some woman walking in his path. 

As Trenton began to address his friends obvious dismissal of what he’d just said his phone began to ring.

“Dude, is that The Imperial March from Star Wars?”

“Who’s the nerd now,” Trenton smiled, teasing his friend for knowing that tidbit of information.

“You made me watch it,” he laughed, half joking.  “So is it?”

Looking down at his phone Trenton couldn’t suppress the frown that crossed his face.  “Yeah.”

“Darth Vader’s theme song?”  David asked for confirmation.



“Because I couldn’t find anything else that fit,” Trenton said, looking at his phone.  It was at that moment the incessant them song playing on repeat finally stopped.  And then immediately began playing again.

“Well, who is it?”

Staring at his phone with a frown he shrugged, “No one,” he whispered as the song began again.  Louder, if that was at all possible.

“Dude, answer it,” David laughed.

“How many times have I told you to stop calling me ‘dude’?  We’re not surfers on some beach.”

“Whatever,” he laughed even louder as the song began playing for what seemed like the tenth time.  “You better answer it.  Sounds like whoever no one is really wants to talk to you.”

Trenton’s frown deepened as he looked at his phone again before pressing answer.



“Sorry Melissa, I didn’t have my phone near me.”


“No.  I’m with David,” he answered, rolling his eyes.  “No, no he didn’t bring any of his bitches.”

Trenton smiled watching the amused expression on his friends face as he saw him mouth the word ‘bitches’. 

“What?  Oh, I wasn’t supposed to say that part out loud?  Sorry,” he smiled.


“Right.  Well, I’d love to chat but we’re in the middle of a very important meeting.”


“Yes, a lunch meeting.”

David laughed as he heard her rant about how he never had time for her.

“You knew how this when we started seeing each other.  Now, I’ll talk to you later.  Yeah,” and without saying good bye he hung up.

“Dude, your girls’ ringtone is Darth Vader’s Theme song,” he burst out, no longer trying to suppress his laughter.


“Why?” he asked for the second time.

“I already told you, because I couldn’t find anything else that seemed to fit,” he said with a straight face.

After seconds of pure silence they both broke out in a fit of laughter.


If someone would have told him he’d end up seriously dating her he would have laughed in their face.  And that was exactly what had happened.  How it had happened was a mystery to him.  All he knew was that he couldn’t find a way to break it off with her without sounding like an asshole.  The fact that he had another woman naked in his bathroom crossed his mind for a brief second before his phone began to ring again.

The sound of the water turning off broke Trenton from his thoughts.  But it was the sound of the creaking door moments later that caused him to turn his head, only to find a half-naked Sonya dripping water onto his floor.

“Sorry.  I—I couldn’t open the cabinet.  It’s locked,” she whispered.

“Locked?” he asked with a dazed look in his eyes.  He allowed them to roam her body, starting at her head and slowly make their way to her feet, which she shifted back and forward slightly.

“Yeah.  The cabinet,” she said moving around under the scrutiny of his gaze.  “It’s locked.  You said my clothes are in the cabinet right?”

“Oh.  Yeah.  I have the key right here.  Sorry about that.  I forgot that my housekeeper normally locks it after she stocks it.”

“Why,” Sonya asked looking up at him as he walked closer to her.  “Aren’t you the only one who lives here?”

“Yes, but sometimes I have—“

It was then that his phone began to ring again.  Like normal he let it go to voicemail, and like clockwork it rang seconds after he heard the beeping signifying a message had been left.

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Sonya asked gesturing towards the phone on his bed.

Finally stopping in front of her, effectively closing the gap between the two of them, he shook his head.  “No.  It’s no one.”


Sonya’s body relaxed as hot water cascaded over her body.  She had aches in places she didn’t even know were possible.  The doctor had told her to avoid getting her bandage wet, but she didn’t really see the point in doing that.  She would be back in the ER within the day if she could just ditch her guard. 

Her eyes closed as she replayed the events that led up to this point.  Sean had always told her that everything happens for a reason.  And she had agreed with him up until her wedding day.  As far as she was concerned the universe was a cosmic joke, and it could kiss her ass.

Steam filled the glass stall and within seconds she was surrounded in a haze.  Her mind wandering off to what she would need to do next.  “I guess I can figure that out after I eat,” she whispered as her stomach rumbled.

Her hand turned the knob to the left as she shut off the now cool water.  The throbbing in her wrist was stronger than ever, reminding her that she was still alive.  It also reminded her that had she not been interrupted she would have succeeded. 

The razor blade had sliced through most of the artery, but had missed enough to keep her alive and place her in shock.  Her wet feet touched the cold tile floor as she walked to the cabinet door and pulled.

When nothing happened she frowned and then tugged even harder.  She was told that her arm would be weak for a while and that she might need some physical therapy to regain some function in a few of her fingers but this was just ridiculous.  With another pull, Sonya realized that the door wasn’t going to budge.

Sonya’s heart pounded rapidly as she stared at the locked door.  What was she supposed to do now?  She didn’t have any clothes to wear and she definitely wasn’t going out there naked.  Scanning the room, her eyes landed on the towel Trenton had mentioned earlier.  As her hands slid over the soft material, picking it up, she stared at the terry cloth material with a look of shock.

This is what he calls a towel,” she murmured looking at the barely there piece of material.  Of course, he probably thought she’d be drying off in the bathroom, and there was also the issue that she’d try using whatever she could to as he said ‘off’ herself.

Wrapping the item around her bosom, she realized that even though it covered all the important parts of her body, it was still very short.  A small sliver of her thigh showing each time she took a step.  After much consideration she finally stopped pacing.

“I’ll just go out there.  Get it over with.  Rip it off like a Band-Aid.  Yeah.”

The sound of her feet slapping against the tiled floor echoed around her.  The cold surface caused a small shiver to go through her with each step, as she neared her destination.  Her breath escaped her almost violently as she fought to gain some control.  After a few seconds of pumping herself up she slowly grabbed the door knob and twisted it. 

Creaking filled her ears as she took a step through the door.  She was well aware of the exact moment Trenton turned around.  His eyes fell on her and there was something there she had seen earlier.  Was it lust?  Or was it disgust?  Sonya’s eyes fell to the floor as she realized it was probably the second one.  All of this help was just to get over feeling obligated since he was the one to help her and take her to the hospital. 

“Sorry.  I—I couldn’t open the cabinet.  It’s locked.” 

Her voice came out as a squeak as she watched his eyes roam over her body.  Making a mental picture in his head of her as he watched the drops of water she could feel on her skin cascade down, only to be absorbed by the terry cloth towel.


“Yeah.  The cabinet,” she said shifting uncomfortably under his gaze.  “It’s locked. 

“Oh.  Yeah.  Here’s the key.  Sorry about that.  I forgot that my housekeeper normally locks it after she stocks it.”

“Why,” she asked looking up at him as he walked closer to her.  “Aren’t you the only one who lives here?”

“Yes, but sometimes I have—“

Her eyes landed on his bed as she heard the sound of music.  His phone was lighting up from a call, but when Sonya’s eyes went back to him, she saw that he was still staring at her.  Within seconds the ringing stopped and was followed by a chime.  She recognized that as the voicemail.  It was the same sound her phone made.  Although not lately.  She hadn’t really had anyone call her.  But she only had herself to blame for that.

It was then that his phone began to ring again. 

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Sonya asked gesturing towards the phone on his bed.

Walking a little bit further to close the gap between the two, he shook his head.  “No.  It’s no one.”

“No one,” Sonya echoed.  “Are you sure?  Maybe it’s important.”

The smile that he gave her caught him off guard as he took the final step, landing him directly in front of her.  His hand moved slowly around her wrist, swiping his thumb over her wrist.  “I’m sure.”


“Don’t worry about it.  It’ll stop soon,” he whispered as he leaned forward.  His lips were inches from hers.  So close that she could feel his breath ghosting against her face.  Sonya’s eyes closed and for the first time she could feel the heat radiating off of him. 

Cold metal touched her palm, and she opened her eyes again watching the same expression cross his face as he closed her fingers around the object.

“Keep the key,” he whispered.  “Consuela will probably lock it again.  This way you already have it,” he answered turning around and going back to check his email.

“Yeah,” Sonya whispered looking at his retreating back.  “Thanks.” 

And with that said, she turned around and walked swiftly back to the bathroom.  The sound of the door closing was like a nail in his coffin.

Half an hour later Sonya emerged from the bathroom wearing a pair of her favorite pajamas.  The pink and black plaid pants accentuated her butt perfectly while the pink tank top hung loosely against her chest.  She had expected to see Trenton sitting at his desk, but was surprised to see that he was no longer there.  Her coffee colored eyes scanned the room for the first time since she had stepped foot inside it.

She had always been a big believer in Karma.  So part of her was resigned to her fate while the rebellious side clawed at her to be let out.  Even as she felt the panic that started to form in her she realized that it was short lived.  Karma sometimes got it wrong.  The Universe wasn’t the, be all know all she reasoned.  If it were then Sean would be with her and she wouldn’t be in some stranger’s bedroom.

There was a touch of elegance that she hadn’t seen amongst the large leather sofas in the living room.  A modest comforter was placed on the bed, accentuated by three large pillows.  Sonya wanted to smile at the thought of seeing him lying between the pastel blue of his pillow cases.

“At least there are no flowers,” she whispered to herself. 

If there was one thing she hated when it came to furniture or bedding of any kind, it was a floral pattern.  This however was nice and subtle.  The baby blue of the pillows a nice contrast to the midnight shimmer of his satin comforter.

Curious eyes shifted to the left where his desk sat.  The wood was a dark color that resembled a mahogany.  That must have been his doing.  Even though she didn’t know him he seemed the type to get his way if he deemed it necessary.

Quiet assailed her ears for the first time since she had been in her palace sized prison.  Nibbling at her bottom lip, Sonya took one small step towards the door before stopping at the sound of her slippers hitting the hardwood floor.  Her breath caught in her throat as she listened for any other movement.

Ten seconds passed without another noise being heard.

Then thirty—

Forty five seconds.

Finally satisfied that she was alone for the first time in days, she quickly shuffled towards the bedroom door.  The gentle flap of her maroon slippers the only indication anyone was home.  Stopping right before the door she stared as if it was the iron gates out of hell.  Her hand slid to the door knob, testing it out.  In the back of her mind she was ready for it to burn her hand, warning her to turn around and stay put. 

Taking a deep breath, Sonya slowly turned the doorknob and pulled.  The soft groaning of the door was like a gavel hammering down on her. 

Her early assumption had been wrong as the aroma of bacon hit her nose.  The scent caused her to pause briefly, remind her that it had been awhile since she had eaten.  As if confirming her thought, Sonya’s stomach rumbled its approval.

Eyes as dark as midnight cast its gaze down at her stomach, frowning as she silently told hit that food wasn’t important right now.  If she were lucky she could sneak to another part of the house.  Surely he had something sharp. 

Turning her back to the wafting smell of fried deliciousness Sonya was stopped in her tracks by the baritone timber of her ‘Warden’.

The thought of betraying Trenton's trust saddened her, but the emotion was not strong enough to force her to reconsider.  The hallway was dark, with shadows bouncing off random objects caused from the skylight above her.

“What are you doing?”

The accusation in Trenton’s voice was undeniable.  She had been caught with her hand in the metaphorical cookie jar.  Shifting slightly on her feet, Sonya turned her head to look at him.  His appearance was much more causal than earlier.  The stone washed jeans he wore hung low on his hips, covered in what appeared to be batter.

Moving her eyes up Sonya couldn’t help but notice the light dusting of hair on his chest.  And for a second her heard sped up, but just like all the other times she’d felt herself reacting positively she cut the string to that particular emotion.

“Do you always cook without a shirt?” she asked harshly, deflecting his attention from what she had been trying to do.

“Do you always sneak around other people’s houses?”

“I wasn’t sneaking.  I thought I smelled bacon.”

Taking a step towards her he frowned.  “You did smell bacon.  And my shirt is off because I had a—pancake accident.  I was coming to get a shirt when I saw you,” he explained.

“Oh,” she whispered.  “Wait, pancake accident?”

“Yeah,” he laughed.  “Come with me.”

“I was just going to go—“

“With me,” he cut her off, grabbing her arm securely in his grip, but not so hard it would hurt her. 

“Trenton!” she yelled.

“Sonya!” he yelled back in mock anger, but the smile on his face told another story.

Seconds later they were both standing in his bedroom again.  Her arms folded securely over her chest as she watched him walk towards his dresser.  With his back to her she slowly took off her flip flops.  The cool texture of the hardwood floor against her feet was a shock to her system, but she couldn’t let that deter her.

Turning her eyes back to Trenton, she took one step then another towards the open door.  If she was lucky she could get to a phone and call her mom.   Or better yet she could call Cameron and beg her to take her in instead.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

The question caused her to release a very unlady like curse from her mouth.  In her attempt to escape she had gotten so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t even noticed him turn around.  He now wore a blue t-shirt that matched his eyes.  But as she looked into those swirly orbs she noticed that there was no expression currently gracing his face.  There was no anger or pity, just a blank wall.

“Nowhere,” Sonya answered.  “I—was just—pacing.  You were taking a long time perusing through your clothes and I haven’t eaten in a long time.”

Helping her prove her point, her stomach rumbled loudly.  Sonya sent up a silent thank you as she watched Trenton’s face soften.  “Sorry.  I’m done.  Let’s go get you some food.”

“Okay.  Thanks.”

And just like that she was being escorted to the kitchen.  All thoughts of escape temporarily put on the back burner.


Trenton’s body vibrated at being so close to her, but then the look in her eyes stopped him from making the biggest mistake in his life.  Placing the key into her hand, he took a step back.

“Keep the key.  Consuela will probably lock it again.  This way you already have it,” he answered turning his back and going back to check his email. 

He tried his best to ignore the confused look on her face, or the way his body felt just leaving her alone in the middle of his floor.  The sound of her soft footsteps walking back to the bathroom caused his body to relax with each step.  It wasn’t until the soft click of the door closing echoed through the room did Trenton release the breath he had been holding.

If he wasn’t safe she would drive him crazy.  And if there was one thing Trenton Sinclair never did was allow a woman to play with his emotions.  It was merely guilt drawing him towards her.  He had found her in a pool of her own blood.  That alone was enough for him to want her near.  In some way he had begun to feel responsible for her life. 

The fact that she kept looking at him with pain in her eyes didn’t help either.  He wanted to be able to erase that look from her eyes.  To know that he wasn’t the reason it was there. 

“Shit,” Trenton whispered out loud.  He needed to do something to get his mind off of her.  Breakfast.  He could make breakfast, he hadn’t eaten in hours, and since he had given his housekeeper the week off it would keep him occupied.

Turning his head towards the door once more, he frowned and sent up a silent prayer that she would be okay, and walked out into the hallway.  With one last glance he closed the door and headed towards his kitchen.

Once inside the enormous kitchen Trenton began pulling out the ingredients he’d need. 

“Everyone loves bacon,” he smiled.  “And pancakes.  Yeah, she’d like pancakes.”

With a whistle he poured batter and milk into the mixer and pressed the first button he saw.

Ten minutes later

“Stupid pancake mix,” he grumbled.  “How does Consuela do this every day?  Electric mixers are stupid,” he complained. 

Looking down at his shirt, he cursed as he watched batter run down his brand new Ralph Lauren button down.

Trenton’s hands moved quickly, undoing the buttons until the shirt lay open.  Taking it off, he flung it to the ground and began walking towards his bedroom.  It was then that he saw Sonya walking towards his living room.

“What are you doing?”

He watched as her body stiffened and then watched as she slowly turned around.  His eyes roamed over her pink pajama top slowly working its way to the flip flops that were on her feet.  Her feet were shuffling back and forward nervously giving away the fact that she was up to no good.  What was he going have to do to keep her safe?  Handcuff her to his bed?

The thought was quickly discarded as he looked into her angry eyes.

“Do you always cook without a shirt?” he heard her ask. 

“Do you always sneak around other people’s houses?”

“I wasn’t sneaking.  I thought I smelled bacon.”

Taking a step towards her he frowned.  “You did smell bacon.  And my shirt is off because I had a—pancake accident.  I was coming to get a shirt when I saw you,” he explained.

“Oh,” she whispered.  “Wait, pancake accident?”

He hadn’t wanted to remember his incident in the kitchen.  How was he supposed to know that putting a mixer on high would make such a mess?  It also didn’t help that he filled it up completely to the top thinking that it would help him make more pancakes. 

“Yeah,” he laughed.  “Come with me.”

“I was just going to go—“

“With me,” he cut her off, grabbing her arm securely in his grip, but making sure he wasn’t hurting her with his firm grip

“Trenton!” she yelled.

“Sonya!” he yelled back trying his best not to laugh at how childlike she sounded.

As he stepped into the bedroom he released his grip on her arm and walked over to his dresser.  His eyes were glued to one shirt in particular.  It was a gift from Melissa.  Seeing it staring back at him reminded him that he had a girlfriend.  A very beautiful girlfriend.  Who gets on his very last nerve, he reminded himself.

She had called him a total of fifteen times since he had arrived home.  It didn’t help matters that each time he had allowed it to go to voicemail.  He hadn’t wanted Sonya to hear him talking to her.  How messed up was that he thought.  He didn’t want the complete stranger in his house to hear him having a conversation with his girlfriend because then she might get upset. The irony was not lost on him, that he cared more for the mocha goddess in his bedroom.

“Mocha goddess,” he laughed as he pulled on a blue graphic tee.  Turning around to face Sonya he noticed that she had slowly inched her way to the bedroom door.  “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Fuck,” he heard her whisper as she turned around slowly.  He would have to watch her more intently if she was this bold.

“Nowhere,” Sonya answered.  “I—was just—pacing.  You were taking a long time perusing through your clothes and I haven’t eaten in a long time.”

 “Sorry.  I’m done.  Let’s go get you some food.”

“Okay.  Thanks.”

“After you,” Trenton bowed making a show of allowing her to go in front of him.  He watched as Sonya tensed and then began to walk towards the kitchen.  The loud clapping of her flip flops hitting the floor were unmistakable now.  She didn’t care who heard her now.  After all that work she had still been caught and forced to walk around with him.


“It’s not that bad,” he cut her off.

Sonya’s eyes landed on the gourmet style kitchen with a shocked expression on her face.  Sitting on the counter was a blue mixer and bowl.  At least she thought it could be blue.  It was hard to tell with all of the beige and white batter covering it.  This was just like watching a car accident on a highway except the cars were a mixing bowl and pancake mix.  So this is what he meant by pancake accident.

“Not that bad,” Sonya almost shouted.  “What do you call good?”

“I didn’t burn down the kitchen,” he smiled as if that was a feat to be proud of.

Quickly Sonya’s head snapped toward the stove and oven.  When she saw that neither one had been turned on she let out a sigh of relief.

“You didn’t start the oven so that’s good,” she said thoughtfully. 

The sight before her was pure chaos.  If she didn’t know any better she’d think that a child had helped him with breakfast, but there was no one around but the two of them.

When Sonya didn’t say anything Trenton looked at his surroundings.  There was batter dripping from the counter onto his Italian stonework.  In his attempt to make pancakes he had panicked and forgotten the bacon that was cooking.  To him it was good enough but at closer inspection, it was garbage bound.

“It didn’t look this bad when I came to get a shirt.”

Trenton watched Sonya as she walked towards the mess.  Her eyes never leaving the spills that flowed throughout the kitchen.  No doubt she was trying not to fall.

Finally her eyes looked up and met his.  “I’m going to make you breakfast,” Sonya finally announced.

“I couldn’t do that.  You’re my guest,” Trenton started. “I wouldn’t feel right making you make your own meal while I just sat her.”

Laughing for the first time since they arrived, Sonya picked up a clean sponge and pushed it towards his chest.  “Who said anything about you sitting down?  You’re cleaning up this mess.” 


“And once you’re done you can help me cut up some vegetables.  You have vegetables right?”

“I’m not giving you a knife?” Trenton blurted out.  In that instance the mood changed and everything went back to the awkward silence that smothered them earlier.

After what felt like hours Sonya nodded her head, “Fine.  You can cut them up, and I’ll instruct you.”

“What are we making?” he asked hesitantly.


“You can cook?”

Smiling Sonya pointed to his mess, “I don’t think you have the right to ask me if I can cook.”

“Touché,” he laughed.

And so the two set off on their tasks.  Sonya with her cooking and Trenton with cleaning up the mess he had made.  It was the first time either of them had let their guard down.  Something Trenton hoped she did more often while she was there.


The rest of breakfast went down without a hitch.  Sonya had put in the chopped up green peppers and mushrooms to their omelet while effortlessly cooking the bacon and pancakes at the same time.

“How did you learn to cook so well?”

“Sean—,” she paused, looking down at the spatula in her hand.

Her eyes watered as she said his name.  She had once again betrayed him.  Here she was laughing and carrying on with a total stranger.  She had forgotten about him.  What kind of person did that?  Forgot about the man they were supposed to love with all their heart.  She was practically throwing herself at him.

“Sonya, there’s nothing wrong with having a good time.  You aren’t bringing shame to him because you don’t spend every waking hour thinking of him.  Punishing yourself for something that isn’t your fault,” Trenton whispered.

“How would you know Trenton?  You don’t know shit about me.  So don’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t do.  Or how I should feel,” she yelled at him.

“Okay.   I’m sorry,” he whispered again.

“And how dare you say that I’m punishing myself. “

Placing his fork on the counter Trenton looked at her for a second. “Aren’t you?”

Before she could utter another word the doorbell rang.  The sound was just as harsh and demanding as the conversation going on between the two of them.  Even if the hostility was only coming from one side.  No one made to move towards the sound which caused the person on the other side of the door to ring it again, this time holding it down a little longer.

“Come with me,” he whispered.

“Yes, Warden,” Sonya murmured under her breath.

Trenton pretended that he hadn’t heard her comment as he walked a couple steps in front of her.  The silhouette on the other side of the door made him pause.  It was definitely a woman.  “Shit.”

Maybe after all of those ignored calls, Melissa had decided to just stop by.  How was he supposed to explain what Sonya was doing there?  The same woman he had claimed to not know the day before.

Walking the last few feet he slowly pulled open the door to greet the person on the other side, but wasn’t given the chance as Cameron pushed her way past him.

“It’s about damn time.  What took you so long?”


“Sonya,” she yelled back at her friend.  “I’m so glad that you’re okay.  I was so scared.”

“I know.”

“Please don’t do that again,” she gasped through the tears that had started to fall.

“Oh CeCe.  Please don’t do that.”

“I can’t help it.  If I had just paid attention and not left you alone for some fucking date—“ 

She couldn’t even finish the sentence as the words caught in her throat.

“I brought someone with me,” she said pulling away from her best friend.

“Who?” Sonya asked confused.

“What you mean ‘who?’”


“Who else would it be?” she smiled.

Looking blankly at her mom Sonya turned and walked away.  She didn’t know whether she was happy or angry at her right now.  She had given her to a stranger.  As cliché as that sounds it was true.  Her own mom had allowed a complete stranger to take her into his home.  And while he wasn’t a serial killer or rapist, he was still someone she did not know.

“Sonny,” her mom called.

Hearing that name set every hair on body ablaze.  Had she not asked them not to call her that?  Why did they insist on rubbing her face in the dirt and then act surprised when she came up swinging?

“Didn’t I ask you to stop calling me that?” Sonya asked her mom without turning around.

“Well yes, but—“

“And still you do it,” she asked turning to face her.  “Why?  What did I ever do to you?”

Her mother took a step towards her, hand raised to her mouth, “Nothing.  Son-Sonya, I love you.  I just forgot.  I’m sorry.”

“Are you?  You find out I’m in the hospital.  That I tried to—that I hurt myself.  And you just decided ‘I’ll let this nice strange man take on my burden.’  Thanks mom,” she hissed as she stared into her mother’s eyes.

“It wasn’t like that at all!”


Seeing where this was going Cameron stepped in and placed a hand on Theresa’s shoulder.  “Why don’t we go see what that smell is in the kitchen?  I don’t know about you but I could eat a couple horses.

“Yeah.  Let’s go do that,” Theresa whispered seeing the pain on her daughter’s face.  Each time worse than the last time she had spoken to her.

Sonya’s eyes followed the two women as they walked down the hallway.  The touch of a hand on her shoulder forced her to avert her attention.  Trenton was there standing beside her.  The look in his eyes was soft and gentle and she couldn’t help it when she found arms wrapping around him.  His hand slowly came up to stroke her straight locks as she sobbed into his chest. 

It was the most heartbreaking sound he had ever heard. 


Theresa paused in the hall, glancing back once to see that Sonya was now grabbing onto Trenton for dear life.  Her eyes welled up with fresh tears as she sent up a silent prayer that one day her daughter would forgive her.  There was just something about that young man that she couldn’t shake.

“Come on, Momma T, let’s go to the kitchen.”

Theresa couldn’t help but smile as she looked back towards Cameron.  She had been like a daughter to her.  Wherever Sonya had been there was Cameron.  And when Sean had died it was like nursing two children back to health.  Each one drowning in a different type of pain.  But it was pain that she couldn’t fix with a Band-Aid and a quick kiss to the forehead.

Cameron intently watched the expression her adoptive mom’s face.  Cameron’s own mother had died when they were younger.  It had only been her, Sean and their dad Adam for years.  Sean had been the strong one in the bunch, always keeping her grounded.  Even at the age of sixteen he took over the role of man of the house when their father fell into a depressed state and stayed there.

If she didn’t know any better she’d say that it had only deepened with the death of Sean.  Had he been there now Cameron knew exactly what he would say. “I knew you were a big baby Cammy, now buck up or I’ll tickle you till you pee your pants.”

A small chuckle escaped her lips as she thought of how he could always make her laugh.  Sonya was only an added bonus that made their little family much more vibrant and filled in the huge void Cameron had been filling.  It was nice to have another woman to talk to.

And so that is how the dynamic due had come into existence.

As the memory slowly faded back into the recess of her brain Cameron took time to look at her surroundings.  This place looks familiar she thought as she looked around the kitchen.

“Bacon!” she yelled when her eyes landed on the delicious strips of meat.

Taking a bite she moaned closing her eyes for a second, “Crunchy goodness,” she sighed opening her eyes only when the sound of laughter filled her ears.

“What?” she mumbled.

“Nothing,” Theresa smiled feeling a little better about the events of the day.


Sonya’s throat hurt as she took in a ragged breath.  She hadn’t known so much pain was able to burst through her and escape.  But here she was bawling her eyes out.  Why did it still hurt so much?  All she wanted was to stop being.  Nothing else could describe the feeling of dread and guilt she felt each time she took a breath.

There was so much she had kept inside and now it was clawing at its cage, loudly shaking its chains at her.

“It’s all my fault,” she cried to herself against the fabric of Trenton’s shirt.

“What is?”

“Everything,” came the muffled reply.

Rough hands contrasted with the gentle touch Sonya felt on her shoulders.  The small amount of pressure he applied caused her to look up at him.  His icy blue eyes held as much emotion in them as hers, which only caused her to cry more.

She didn’t see Sean when she looked at Trenton.  She could still see the resemblance, but he was definitely not her Sean.  Did that mean she was forgetting?


“I’m so sorry about your shirt,” she hiccupped through her tears.

“It’s just a shirt,” Trenton whispered as he stroked her hair.  A small sob left her mouth as she turned her head.

“It’s okay Sunshine.”

This caught her attention causing her to look up at him.


Well—,” he blushed.  “You hate when people call you Sonny, and I get that.  It was your special thing.  Something you want to keep private between the two of you now that he’s—gone.  But when I first saw you it was as if my world exploded with color and all the cold in the world ceased to exist.

Even through your pain there’s brightness about you.  It’s almost blinding and yet I can’t stay away.  You warm my—you’re just a ray of sunlight.”

“Sunshine—,” Sonya murmured to herself.

Clearing his throat Trenton looked anywhere but at her.  “We should go check on your mom.”


“Yeah, Sonya?”

“Thank you.”


Sonya walked into the kitchen to find Cameron stuffing her mouth with the remaining bacon.  Her cheeks stuck out like a chipmunk and she was rubbing her stomach in a suggestive way.  The scene before her eyes forced her to smile.  If anyone could get her to smile it was Cameron. 

“What are you doing?  And why are you rubbing your stomach like that? Stop it,” Sonya laughed.

“Girl, did he cook this?” Cameron asked with her mouth full of food.

“No, he can’t cook.”

“Can’t cook?” she almost yelled, turning her attention to Trenton.  “At all?”

“At all,” Sonya cut in just as he was about to answer her question.

“Kind of like you at first,” Cameron smiled as she shoved another strip of bacon into her mouth.”

With fake shock, Sonya placed her hand over her heart and gasped, “Well I never.”

“Exactly,” Cameron laughed.

Theresa watched as her girls laughed and enjoyed each other’s company.  Glad that she had done something right by not coming alone.   

Sonya’s eyes lit up for the first time in a year.  Here she was laughing and enjoying herself with her best friend.  Occasionally her eyes would meet her mother’s but then she would immediately move them away.  She was still angry with her for abandoning her in her time of need. 

The announcement that they would be leaving soon caught Sonya by surprise.  She wanted them to stay longer.  She wanted them to take her with them.  Once again her eyes met her mother’s.  This time she was the one to look away.

“So you’re just going to leave me here?  After everything I said earlier?”

“Sonya—I think it’s for the best,” Theresa stammered.

“For who?” she asked looking up into the eyes of the woman who gave her life.

“For all of us.  He can help you more than I can.  I just feel it in my gut.  You were supposed to be here,” she whispered.  “Everything happens for a reason.  You taught me that.”

And without waiting for Sonya to say anything, her mother turned and walked out of the kitchen.  The sound of the front door closing a stake to the heart as she waited for her to come back, but it never happened. 

“Give it time,” Cameron said into her hair as she pulled her into a hug.

“What about you CeCe?  Can I stay with you?”

“I wish I could.  But the only way they’d let you out the hospital is if you went with someone.  Since your mom is your next of kin she was the logical option.  But Sonya—she gave Trenton a Power of Attorney for the next three days.  I can’t do anything,” she frowned.

Tears rolled down both women’s faces as they realized the importance of the situation.  Cameron hadn’t abandoned her as she had originally thought.  Her mother had made it impossible for her as well. 

“But I’m coming to visit you as much as possible now that I know where you are,” she smiled, wiping her tears.

“You better,” Sonya smiled.

“Well—I better go.  Call me later okay.  I just want to make sure you’re okay.”


As she walked to the door, Cameron could still sense the pain her friend was in.  It was all consuming and reached for her even as she grabbed the doorknob.  Doing what she had always done when she left and something was troubling either of them; Cameron turned her head and smiled. 

“I love you Sonya.  You know that right?”

“I love you too, CeCe.”

And with that she watched her best friend open the door and step through it.

The sun set a lot sooner than she had expected.  It had been one hell of a day.  And all she wanted to do was sleep.  The throbbing in her wrist reminded her that it was time for her pain medication.  With her palm open she looked at the small white pill.  Of course they had given the bottle to Trenton.  Wouldn’t want her getting any ideas, she thought snidely.

And she had gotten several ideas when she had learned they would be giving her pain meds.  Now that she knew they’d be given to her by her warden, it defeated the purpose.  She didn’t want the pills to regulate her pain.  She needed them to stop it all together.

Grabbing a small piece of tissue, Sonya tucked the pill neatly inside and walked to the cabinet.  Opening it, she hid it behind her feminine hygiene products and locked it with the key she had been given.

“You almost done,” a voice yelled, startling her.

“Almost,” she yelled back.  Then looking at the locked cabinet whispered, “Almost.”

Walking out into the master bedroom, Sonya stopped at the bathroom door.  Her eyes settled on the man sitting beside the bed on an air mattress.  For the second time that day, Sonya’s expression softened as she realized he had never intended to sleep in the bed with her.

“Thought I was going to be in bed with you,” he smiled.

Sonya simply nodded her answer.

“I’d never do that to you.  You don’t know me and no offense but I don’t know you either.  For all I know you kick in your sleep,” he smiled.

“I don’t,” was her only response.

“The bed has new sheets and pillows.  And I brought you a glass of water just in case you get thirsty in the middle of the night.”

Sonya’s eyes drifted towards the glass on the nightstand.  “Aren’t you afraid I’ll smother myself in my sleep?  Or sneak out?”

“I hadn’t thought of that with the pillows,” he said getting up and pulling them from the bed.

“Are you serious?  I was just kidding,” Sonya yelled. 

“Well I’m not taking any chances.  If you thought of it now you’ll end up thinking it’s a good idea.  God, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that.  Stupid,” he chastised himself.

“And the door,” she asked, half hating herself for saying the last part out loud.

“I locked it when you were in the bathroom,” he answered, unlocking it and throwing the pillows in the hallway before locking it again.

“I really am a prisoner here,” she murmured to herself.

“Be happy I didn’t take the doctor’s advice and handcuff one of your hands to the headboard,” Trenton smiled before turning over on his air mattress.

“Night Sunshine,” he smiled.

“I think I hate that name too,” she grumbled, trying to get comfortable with the lack of pillows.

“It’ll grow on you,” Trenton whispered.

The sound of her breathing was the only thing letting him know she had finally fallen asleep.


Screams filled the air as Trenton jerked awake.  Above him the sound of agony so deep cut him to the core.  Moving to his feet, he watched as Sonya’s features twisted in a mixture of pain and sadness.  Trenton tried to listen to what she was saying, but each word collided with the next as she screamed them.

Climbing on the bed with her, Trenton gently stroked her hair.  “Shhh.”

Sonya grabbed onto him and buried her head in his chest as her sobs slowly woke her.  In the dark she had thought that he was Sean.  But the smell was all wrong.  The way he held her wasn’t right either.  It was then that she realized that the dream was still true.  Her Sean was gone. 

“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed to no one in particular.

“Shhh—just lean on me.  I’ll be your strength for now,” Trenton whispered into her hair.

“Why are you doing this for me?” Sonya asked slowly drifting back to sleep.

Closing his eyes he simply answered, “Because you’re the light to my darkness.”

The sound of Sonya’s light breathing was the only response to his words.  They had been playing on repeat since the very first day he laid eyes on her.  He just didn’t know why.


  1. Anonymous5:09 PM

    :) all I can say!

    Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

    M1 :D

  2. Anonymous6:59 PM

    Hello, I love this story sooo much! Please update soon. Happy Holidays!!!

  3. This is so good, please keep on writing.

  4. Wow! I just started reading this because I saw your blog on Jaz's page its wonderful. Please continue it!