Sunday, May 06, 2012

Beautiful Stranger Ch. 02

I didn't stop running until I was two blocks away. Part of me thought that he would follow me and demand an answer. But there was no answer that I could give him to make it better. I would forever be plagued with his confession.

Isabelle, I love you.

The words kept echoing in my mind. They were like a broken record playing and playing again from the same point that had begun to skip. The look in his eyes was definitely new and he was looking at me as if he'd seen me for the first time. When he kissed me I felt my head fill up with a light buzzing sound as if everything around me was white noise.

And when he had held me so close to his body, I swore I could feel his heart beating faster than was humanly possible. Now all that was playing in my head were those words, which were followed by and even more shocking declaration.

Isabelle Jones, I'll love you till the day I die.

Till the day he died!

I had known Michael for years and never once had he shown that he was the slightest interested in me. We had been almost like brother and sister until recently. It wasn't until recently that I found that I looked at him a little differently. That I couldn't wait to see him smile or watch him laugh at a joke I had made.

But I had thought all of that was normal. It was what friends did with each other. They wanted to make the other smile and hear them laugh. Right?

I shook my head as if to shake free any additional thoughts and get rid of the ones I was currently having. No, friends did not have these feelings and I was positive that once I saw him again that everything would have blown over. And he would have forgotten all about his declaration of love. I hoped.

Before I knew it I had stopped in front of a park and watched as the swings swayed in the wind. I was drawn to them and couldn't help walking towards the hypnotic motion. Each step I took towards them felt like an eternity and I found that I had slowed down slightly as I neared them.

When I stopped in front of them I simply took a hand and placed it on the seat. While it stopped the others still swayed and creaked lightly in the light breeze. I turned and sat down and watched as the others moved gracefully next to each other. And then I closed her eyes and began to sway with them.

I felt as the wind circled around me, tickling my skin almost sending little shivers up my body. It called to me as if it knew me and wanted me to stay. And so I did.

I stayed there for what felt like hours but was actually only thirty minutes, just swaying with the rest of the swings. Never getting too high or moving too fast, as that would throw off the balance.

With my eyes still closed, my head leaned back a little and I felt an entirely new sensation. One of falling rapidly towards the ground, but of course this was just a feeling. I leaned my head back up and swayed some more before repeating the action. But this time when I did I felt soft lips pressing against mine.

I opened my eyes slowly to see Michael leaning over me. When he finally stepped back he walked around to face me. There were a myriad of emotions displayed on his face as if he was finding it hard to pick one. He was still wearing the same t-shirt with the same picture of some random rock band and his faded blue jeans.

"I knew I would find you at a place like this," he finally spoke.

Once his green eyes met mine I was lost in them. And this time when I saw him lean in to kiss me I let him. I let him caress my lips with his and I felt when his arms circled around my body to steady it. I couldn't help wrapping my arms around his neck as he lightly stroked his tongue against mine.

When he broke the kiss I could hear how labored my breathing was. I also noticed the red flush of his skin and smiled a little knowing I was the cause. But just as soon as it had happened I had to end it. I stood quickly and without saying anything went to run away from him.

Only this time when I went to move away from him he grabbed me by the arm and didn't let go. I looked up into his face and a single tear ran down my cheek. As he bent down to kiss it away I felt the warmth of his breath against my skin.

And I wanted more than anything to tell him I was sorry for before. But mostly I wanted to just run in the other direction.

"Izzie," he whispered.

"Michael you can't—"

Before I could finish my sentence he had covered my lips with his again. This time with more aggression and force, as if he were starved for kisses and I was his food supply.

I felt my body lean into his and a small moan left my body. When he finally released me from his iron grip, but still held me firmly to him, I saw the look of determination on his face.

"Don't you dare tell me I don't love you," he said.

"I wasn't," I whispered as I lowered my gaze down to his hands. "I was going to say that you can't keep kissing me like that."

"Why not?" he whispered back.

He leaned down inches away from my mouth.

"Because you're my best friend," I gasped.

The closeness was starting to get to me and I tried to stop the tremors that were shaking my body. His green eyes softened a little and he placed his forehead against mine before he let out a deep sigh.

"But I want you to be so much more."

"Michael there is so much more that you don't know. And I can't risk it. I just can't."

"Can't risk what Izzie?"

He caught my chin with his index finger and lifted my head so that I was gazing into his emerald pools. When I didn't look away he smirked a little and then dropped his head to kiss me again. This time I moved my head so that his lips came into contact with my cheek.

However this didn't stop him. Instead it fueled him on as he began to trail kisses from my cheek up to my ear. When he stopped there briefly I thought he would give up and back away from me. That was until I felt him lightly nibble on my earlobe.

I couldn't help the gasp that escaped me or the way my body slightly melted into his. He took this as a sign and lightly nipped at my earlobe with his teeth. This time he definitely heard the gasp that left my lips. And I could almost feel the smile that was taking over his face.

After a few minutes of this he moved back to my cheek and lightly kissed away the tears that I hadn't realized were falling. Here we were standing in front of a swing set and I was letting him kiss me into oblivion.

I felt his tongue come into contact with my neck and was quickly snapped out of my reverie. It was at that moment that I noticed his hands were now firmly placed on my hips and he was slightly pulling me towards him.

His tongue was lightly trailing down my soft milk chocolate skin. All I could think of was how it felt amazing. When he reached my collarbone and nipped at the skin there I moaned softly. He must have heard me because he repeated the action again. And again I let out a low moan.

"Michael," I gasped when I could finally find my voice.

"Yes Isabelle," he mumbled against my body. But he didn't remove his mouth from my skin; he simply just kissed his way to the top of my breast and lingered there for a moment.

"Michael," I nearly screamed.

"No," he said moving back up my body and stopping when he reached my neck.

"What do you mean no?" I bellowed.

"I just do," he said kissing my neck lightly.

"We can't do this," I began when he brought his face within inches of mine.

"Why not?" he challenged me.

"Because—"

"Besides the fact that I'm your best friend," he countered leaning his head in closer to kiss my full lips.

When I didn't say anything he smiled and grabbed my hand. He didn't say a word; he just began to pull me after him. I didn't know what to think or do.

Should I protest and demand he let me go, or should I just let him take me where ever he wanted no questions asked. It was then that I decided it would have to be a little of both.

"Michael I'm not going with you," I said trying my best to sound stern.

"Yes you are," was all he said.

"At least tell me where we're going."

"It's a surprise."

I was shocked when I looked up and saw a red corvette sitting by the curb of the street. Had I been that wrapped up in my fantasy world that I hadn't heard him pull up in it. He stopped on the passenger side and opened the door.

I hesitated a moment until he smiled and nodded that I should get in. He quickly walked to the other side of the car and got in. Once inside he started the engine and quickly drove away from the park and all that had happened there.

"Is this the surprise?" I asked gesturing towards the car.

"Part of it," he answered.

"And the other part?"

"Is still a surprise," he said smiling at me but never taking his eyes off the road.

And so we both just sat there in silence. Now the town of Lofton isn't that big but I swore it felt as if we had been driving forever. When we finally came to what looked like an empty building he stopped. I couldn't help the quizzical look that was on my face or the fact that I was rapidly becoming agitated. He knew very well that I hated surprises.

"Get out," he whispered to me in a stern voice.

"Michael—" I began.

"Just get out of the car Izzie," he said smiling at me.

I felt my body do exactly as he told me to do as I slowly opened the door and got out of the car. Once I did he swiftly took me by the hand and guided me toward the door straight ahead of me. He stopped and knocked loudly three times before someone peeked their head out and smiled.

"Mikey! Long time no see," he said before pausing on me. "I see you brought a friend with you this time.

If I wasn't confused before I most definitely was now. And what was even worse, no one was offering up any information. They were both just cryptically talking to each other. It almost sounded as if it was a different language and I was the only one who didn't speak it.

After walking down a dark corridor we stopped at the door of what looked like an auditorium. I turned to look at Michael, but instead I caught him staring at the stage.

There was a stool sitting in the middle of it. A smile was now on his face and there was a sparkle in his eyes. Without glancing my way he grabbed my hand and started to run down the aisle with me.

I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my mouth. Neither could I hide the excitement that was rapidly rising in me. We stopped at the first row of seats in front of the stage and stared up at it. It was huge. It made me feel as if I was a small and insignificant piece of this bigger picture.

And then it hit me. I was just a small and insignificant piece. And when this all went away where would we be. Because I was sure he would never want me the way I was becoming.

Breaking me from my thoughts he sat down in one of the seats and sat me on his lap. His arms were snuggly placed around my waist and his head was placed on mine. I could hear him breathing in my scent and it made me sad. Because I knew that it was a fleeting sound.

Instead I would savor every one that he made. So instead of fighting it I closed my eyes and listened to how his breathing was shallow by steady. I listened to the way he giggled when I leaned my head back and rested it on his shoulder. But most of all I listened to the way he said my name.

"Isabelle, what are you doing?"

Without thinking I simply replied, "Listening."

"To what?"

"You," I whispered.

"But I haven't said anything," was his only response.

I couldn't help the frown that crossed my face. But I didn't want him to see it. He kissed the side of my neck and then began to talk to me about why we were here.

"Stay right here."

Lifting me off his lap he stood and then sat me back down in his seat. He walked quickly towards the side door and I watched as it quietly closed behind him. Moments later he reappeared. But he wasn't coming back through the door. He was walking onto the stage carrying a guitar.

That was when it hit me. The stool was set up for him. Was this my surprise? Was my best friend going to serenade me? The light sound of music floated towards my ear and I had my answer.

My mouth dropped open when I heard the words floating out of his mouth, but most of all because he sounded amazing. In all our years of being friends he had never once told me he could sing. I had heard him play guitar plenty of times. But never once were the cords he played accompanied by the lyrics he was now singing to me.

311's Love Song started low and soft.

As he sang to me my heart swelled and I couldn't help crying. This was one hell of a surprise. As the words to the song floated around me I watched as his eyes stayed fixed on me. He looked serious but at the same time not serious. When I wiped another tear away I heard the words that made reminded me of how he made me feel.

And as I listened to the words, I closed my eyes and whispered the lyrics with him. Once it neared the end of the song I opened my eyes and looked into his deep green pools. He strummed his guitar and sang the last line slowly; trying to emphasize the meaning it had for him.

I will always love you


Once the song was finished he placed his guitar on the stage and disappeared behind the curtain. A few minutes later he walked through the side door smiling. He looked proud of himself as if he wanted to ask me what I had thought of his performance.

Instead when he stopped in front of me he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me to his body. The kiss he gave me told me that he meant every word he had sang. And one of the thoughts I had was that I had to buy that CD.

He released me and waited for me to say something. The look in his eyes was pure anticipation and anxiety. This was the first time he had openly shared his feelings with anyone. Now he feared that I would throw it back into his face.

"Michael," I slowly whispered.

"Yes?" he said as his voice cracked a little.

"Why me?"

He looked me in the eyes and whispered, "Silly girl. You're everything to me. You were with me when my mom died. You tell me whenever I'm being an asshole. And you never let me get away with anything," he said pausing.

Thinking about what to say next he smiled and began again. "Did you know that when you're sad you look down at your hands? Or did you know that whenever you are nervous you bite your lip? Because I notice everything about you; down to the fact that you are hiding something very important from me," he said pausing to gauge my reaction.

"Michael, I'm sorry but I just can't be that for you," I whispered back.

"You just can't be what for me Izzie?"

Looking into his eyes I whispered, "You're everything."

"It doesn't matter," he began. "You already are."

*************************

On the ride back to my house I looked out the window and thought about what he had said. I wanted to remember everything about him. Even the not so good things.

On more than one occasion I caught him glancing over at me. But he never said anything. He simply kept whatever he wanted to say to himself. A few moments later we were outside my house. The car slowly pulled into the driveway and stopped. I wanted to move but I couldn't will my body to do so.

Instead I just sat there with my hands in my lap, staring out the window. Almost half an hour passed when finally Michael broke the silence.

"Izzie, do you trust me?"

"Of course," I said turning towards him.

"Then why do you insist on hiding from me?"

"I'm not hiding from you...I'm simply sparing you more heartache," I quietly said as I looked down at my hands. Damn it he was right. I did look down at my hands when I was sad.

Lifting my head with one of his hands he caressed my cheek and whispered, "But my heart doesn't ache."

"If you keep this up it will."

I looked down at my hands again and began to fidget. Again he lifted my head and slowly moved toward me. But instead of kissing me he leaned over and opened my door.

"Call me when you're ready to talk Isabelle," he said into my ear.

But the only words I heard where 'call', 'ready', and 'Isabelle'. How I longed to tell him the truth but how would he respond if he knew that I was slowly losing my hearing. It was bad enough he made fun of it before. It had been a month since I found out it was actually because I had a dormant gene that had finally decided to come out and play.

After that I had made Michael take me to my favorite movie once a week. Once my world went quiet I wanted to remember how it sounded. I wanted to have it engrained into my subconscious. If nothing else went as planned, at least I got to hear him say he loved me.

I was aware that I would have to tell him soon. However it had become even more difficult since he had professed his love for me. Now I could just imagine what he would look like. The words that I was sure would come out of his mouth. He would never want me once he knew I was damaged goods.

Stepping out of the car I closed the door behind me and watched as he backed out of my driveway. I didn't wait for him to drive down the street. Instead I turned and walked into my house. My mother was standing in the kitchen and I watched as she watched her favorite soap opera.

"Momma," I called to her.

She turned immediately and smiled at me. Her new hearing aid was working perfectly. She had been trying to convince me to go through with the same surgery, but I wanted to wait. One of the side effects of the surgery was that instead of coming out with your hearing you could very well end up deaf way before you would have. So if that was the case, I was willing to take my chances. Every moment with Michael was precious to me, and there was no way I would cheat myself out of the time I had with him.

"Did you finally tell him," she signed to me.

"No," I said to her instead. "Momma you don't have to sign. We can both hear. For now."

"Habit," she said as a smiled crept across her face.

My mom had gone deaf as a child. When I was born they told her that I was doomed to follow in her footsteps. Of course when I finally turned ten and nothing had happened the doctors determined that I should live a normal healthy life.

It wasn't until I turned seventeen that I noticed little things. The sound of certain things sounded distant. Some of the words were missing from sentences when people spoke to me.

After I told my mom she quickly insisted that we see her doctor. At first I protested but eventually caved. It was then that he found the scar tissue on my ear drums.

He told me that even though it was rare for something like this to happen so late was rare. He had never seen an adult develop something that should have been developed seven years prior.

"Why not," she signed.

"Mom we're not doing this," I signed back.

"Isabelle, he needs to know!"

"I'll tell him Momma...just not right now," I screamed.

I stormed to my room and slammed my door. It was still a sound that both of us could hear and very much understand. A feeling of remorse crept up in me and I wanted to go out into the hall and apologize to her. But some part of me couldn't face her, because everything she had said was right. No matter how little it was.

I had to tell him what was going on with me. I just didn't know when or how. It wasn't until I turned to one of the movie posters hanging on my wall that a light went on in my head. I smiled to myself giving my back an invisible celebratory pat on the back.

I knew exactly what I was going to do.

3 comments:

  1. I'm enjoying this, though I feel so very sad for Isabelle's loss, both the real loss of her hearing and the way her fear is pushing her away from love. Of course her fear has a sound basis, because love doesn't always overcome the obstacles in its path. :(

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  2. Anonymous4:11 AM

    I love this story, im re-reading it..and it still makes sad..but in a good way :)

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  3. Anonymous1:11 AM

    Where is ch 3 ..... Pls post it. I cant find it anywhere. Great story btw. Just need ch 3 to fill in blanks btwvch 2 and ch 4!

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